Thinking is dangerous...

Well, I'm in one of those analyzing, thinking moods again. I can't help but worry about things. I wonder if there's a reason I'm on this earth, is there a certain mission for me? I thought it was to help people.. but I don't think so anymore.. How can I stand out from everyone else, and not be the "norm"? With school starting in about 17 days, I wonder how many migraines school will give me. I wonder if I can make these 2 years left that I have at BHS the best. I want to do well, show everyone what I can do. I'm known as having so much potential, but I never seem to fulfill that potential. My effort is great, but I don't deliver a stellar academic performance. I'm not happy with C's. I push myself so hard.. but then I end up getting shoved back. I tried to end my Sophomore year with good grades, and I did, but I felt like I didn't really earn them.. all my teachers pitied seeing me so sick and exhausted, they just let me slip by on a lot of tests and assignments. Half the work I missed while I was out, they told me don't bother to make up.. and come grading time, I end up a few points short of the honor roll for 4th term.. how did that happen? I barely did any work. I feel guilty because I got sick and I got away with not having to do barely any work for the rest of the year.

So.. this year, is going to be tougher, of course. Will I even pass MCAS? Doubtful, I KNOW I didn't pass the Math section, to save my life. I did the tutoring thing, for 8 weeks, didn't do much for me. How far will my drive get me? I have no idea..