(no subject)

[eternalflame4]

You know how those snowglobes look before you shake them up, how pretty and calm the scenery is? Well, my life as a snowglobe has been taken and shaken up, hard. Now things are upside down and I can't see my way anymore. It all used to be so clear, I was so happy..everyone saw that too. Now its blurry through the tears in my own eyes. No matter how hard I try--I can't make the tears stop. Sleep? Got none. Sobbed all night into my pillow. For those of you who may be clueless right now, I can make it clear for you. My wonderful boyfriend broke up with me last night. Like a knife through the heart. I got attached, so attached, and it hurts so much now. I can't blink these tears that sit in my eyes, they either stay there or fall. Now I don't know what to do today, school will be impossible--although I'll go anyway. The only thing I want to know is why. Why do I always have to get hurt as I finally have the confidence for another relationship. My happiness has been taken and just yanked out from under me. I don't know if I'll ever be bitter about this--I try and think of other things, but its too busy screaming in my brain what has happened all of 12 hours ago, and I just end up crying some more, sobbing more relentlessly into that pillow. And I feel empty. Just very, very sad and empty. I love him, why did he have to hurt me? I just don't see myself without him right now, it doesn't look right!

To those who were there for me last night, AshLee, Jameson, Lisa, Ryan--thank you guys, but your jobs aren't done yet, I think you're all in for a long haul. My first real breakup, god help us all involved.

And of course, Dave...it was a horrid night--and all I wonder now is how you're feeling. Why? Because I still care. I don't want you to cry and have the night like I had.. and the day thats now in front of me.

Comments

[e-m-k.livejournal.com]

I hope things get better for you - I'm very sorry.