eternalflame4: (Default)
Where does one even begin when you haven't update LJ in almost 2 years? First of all, I know I live in New England but holy cow enough with the snow! We are supposed to get another 12-18 inches this weekend and I truly believe I can speak for most of the people in New England when I say that I am SO over it. Can we at least get decent temperatures that can melt all this stuff? But not too quickly please, I don't want to see swimming pools and flooding everywhere.

Onto updates!

This month marks my 13th anniversary with LiveJournal. .

I will try to go back and update since my last entry was regarding the Boston Marathon bombing in April 2013.

After a year and a half of working for United Health Care I took a job for Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Massachusetts in May 2014, working in Medicare Compliance. It's truly unlike any job I've had. Long hours, intense work, and a job where I truly learn something new every day. I'm really tired of changing jobs and do really enjoy working for BCBS so I hope to stay here for a long time. I've worked for far too many companies since 2007. My resume is probably downright scary now with all the jobs I've previously had. I've stayed in Health Care, completed my degree in Health Management a few years ago at Northeastern University, and am trying to settle into more of a "career" mindset rather than just chasing money. I can't believe I'm coming up on a year with BCBS already. I'm probably going to say this a few times in this entry but I cannot believe how fast time goes now.

My Father died in January 2014. Unfortunately he died two weeks after he called to tell me what was going on. As soon as he told me, I immediately made plans to go to Australia but was jumping through the hoops of taking a leave of absence from United. Part of the reason I started job hunting last year included the grief they gave me while trying to take a leave of absence. I was perfectly fine with going unpaid, I had just wanted my job to be there when I returned. I recognize that they have processes and procedures for these things, but going through the FMLA process was next to impossible with my father's doctors being in Australia, and their HIPPA laws are much tougher than we have here in the US. He passed away while I was gathering the information needed for my leave of absence. Ultimately another director who knew me well, but worked in another department was horrified by what I went through. He believed that I should have just been allowed to take a regular leave of absence and that would be that. United had two levels of LOA- FMLA and a straight up emergency leave of absence. I did meet the requirements for the emergency LOA, but its ultimately at the director level discretion. Should I have taken it higher up in the organization? Sure, but I was in a complete fog and just kept running into wall after wall trying to put everything together.

I had not kept in touch with him a lot over the past few years, just occasional emails and phone calls. I kick myself all the time that we weren't in touch more. I had forgiven him for everything that happened since he moved to Australia in 2000/2001, and I did tell him that before he passed away so I hope he is in peace with that.

I'm still working through all the feelings and emotions and will continue to do so for a long time. I thought I had known about grieving before his passing, but it was a whole new level with it being my father and our very complicated past.

The past couple years have not just been full of sadness and job change, there have been many, many happy things as well.

I'm getting married! Wayne asked me to marry him last August, and our wedding is this October in Gloucester, MA. We currently live in Dedham, MA and have been here since March 2014. I moved from Somerville with many tearful goodbyes to my roommates, and thankful for all the fun times I had with them and living in the Boston area. I'm not terribly far from Boston, maybe about 20 minutes without traffic but far from any of the subway lines, which is not a bad thing right now because they really aren't working well. At all. Neither is our commuter rail. Buses have pretty much replaced the subways at this point and entire stretches of tracks have not been cleared yet. I am very thankful that I drive to my office, or work from home. Yesterday was my first time back in the office in two weeks thanks to this crazy weather.

As if moving, new job, engagement wasn't enough I had to add a cherry on top of the cake.

In October, I had weight loss surgery. I had the gastric sleeve, and am so thankful that I did it. My life is a "new normal" and I have a different relationship with food and exercise now. My hope is to break the stigma that I see and hear about weight loss surgery, that we're lazy, looking for a quick fix, that we will never change no matter what we do.

I'm addicted to food. I turned to food during all the bad times in life, the good times, and the in between times. I'm still working on that, but like any addict it takes time. I don't want to say "I was addicted", because I do believe I still am. Weight loss surgery isn't just physical changes, you have to be ready, prepared and open to make mental changes as well. I work out more than I ever have (although mostly at home these days!), and truly am conscious of everything I put in my mouth. Another part of this journey is getting fluids in. I drank a ton of Diet Pepsi before surgery and I've traded it in for water and G2. I also am not allowed to touch alcohol until the 6 month mark, and even then I will need to have an extensive conversation with my team. My team includes my surgeon, his PA's, and Nutritionists. Alcohol addiction is a problem in people who have had weight loss surgery, trading the food for drinking. It's also a lot of calories just to take in via liquid form, so they try to steer us away from that. I'm going to be honest and say that there are plenty of times that I wish I could just have a glass of wine, but I'm happy to say that I have completely resisted.

Phew. I think I've covered the big things.

As I said on New Year's Eve on Facebook, I've been told that you aren't supposed to make major life changes within a year of a death of a loved one. I moved, changed jobs, got engaged and had weight loss surgery and I am incredibly happy that I did all of those things. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Stay tuned! I know I've always said I want to get back in LJ but really want to make the effort.

I'm sorry this was so long, but thank you for reading. :)

Love,

Cindy
eternalflame4: (Default)
I have always, always hated talking about myself. While I was interviewing for my current job I found it was SO difficult to say how wonderful I was, and how awesome of I fit I would be for the company. Needless to say as you can see from above they hired me. I have never been happier and more content with my life than I am right now. My one issue is still being worked on, but I realize it isn’t something that is going to happen overnight.

The basics. My name is Cindy and I’m 24, living in a town about 5 miles outside of Boston. I also work in the same town- working in enrollment and premium billing for a health insurance company. I’m still in college, finishing my Bachelor’s Degree in Healthcare Management at Northeastern University. I have a wonderful boyfriend, Steven that I met through eHarmony. He’s my rock, and an amazing person. Ok, I’m done with the mushy stuff.

I have always enjoyed writing all throughout school, and still do to this day. I’ve always wanted to write a book about my life up until this point- wanting to show that there is in fact a happily ever after. What would the book be about? Well, to sum it up in short when I was 12 my parents got divorced. But it was more than that. My father had left my my mom for a woman he had never met who lived in Australia. I have not spoken to him in 10 years. Living with my mom was an everyday struggle, and she’s still the major issue in my life. We’ve never had a typical mother-daughter relationship, and I believe its because of how her parents raised her. She did not even attend her own mother’s funeral 6 years ago. Ten years ago she shut out her entire family for no reason, and refused to talk about why she did so. Recently within the last few months I have reconnected with my family, and just got back from seeing them this past weekend. A lot of questions about my mom, and my family are still unanswered but some things may never be answered. My book would talk about the struggle of finding your own place in the world, your own identity and the relationships with the people around you. A memoir I suppose you could call it. Would it ever sell any books? Probably not but I want to still write it anyway to show what I can do, and I believe it can help with the healing process.

I revealed a lot about my life in just a few paragraphs but I am so excited to be joining in this competition and I look forward to reading everyone else’s writing!
eternalflame4: (Default)
This may bore some but I figured I'd share, (also I need to get the "how I was laid off" story off my chest because its still bothering me..)

This is what I have accomplished this week (April 5-11)

*Interviews with Recruiters (temp and perm) on Monday and Wednesday

*Applied to about 15 different positions in the Boston area via monster/craigslist (live on edge of city)

*Posted new resume on Monster and Craig's list

*Applied to CVS & Target

*Had interview with CVS on Friday for 16 hrs a week part time and just waiting on the results of my "backround check" (*rolls eyes* that Secret clearance is doing me NO good right about now..) Should hear back from manager by Wed- he loved me so I may be in training as early as Thurs/Fri of this upcoming week

*Filed for unemployment- been hearing tons of horror stories that there's a three month backlog of people waiting for their first check

*Watched wayyyyy too much trashy tv/movies

*Slept too much!

So I'm waiting to hear back on Target, CVS and other Recruiters. Have an interview with a 3rd one on Wed @ 2pm.

Aaaand tomorrow I'm being forced to do a major spring cleaning of the apt by the roommate...argggg hate cleaning!

Ok that's it for now- hope everyone is doing well!
eternalflame4: (Default)
..when you're nursing a broken heart.

So Jeff broke up with me over Thanksgiving. It's been very hard and with the help of therapy I've finally started to feel human again.

The week before X-Mas I was laid off from Questex, however I now work for a Government contractor in Burlington, about a half hour from me. I handle AP, AR and Payroll amongst other things. It's actually quite interesting, however I hate not being able to talk about my job! Working there isn't a typical office environment, its something completely different- a job that you have to really, truly watch every little thing you do, and make sure it's perfect or there are some serious repercussions. The job isn't actually hard- its just working with certain people that make it hard.

Currently I'm not even working because I was just diagnosed with Mono. Some of you may remember I had it back in 2002, but sure enough its back. It's not as bad as the first time but the exhaustion is sometimes hard to deal with. I do not know when I'll be returning and I just completed the paperwork for short term disability. So hopefully I'll be back on my feet soon- but the doctors won't let me return to work for awhile.

Still in Watertown, with the same roommate.

I wanted you all to know that I still read my Flist several times a day, like I know that Bren got a new pink laptop. (and give Loki a kiss for me!)

I've had a hard time trying to write everything down and I'm still not there yet, but know that I am infact here, and reading everyday. I will write more when I can, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon!

I love you all and thanks for all your support while I'm finding myself again. I've never really been single since I was 16- so its a whole new world to me.

xoxo

Cindy
eternalflame4: (Default)
I know I promised an update today, but I worked from home, did laundry, knitted, and just took 3mg of melatonin at the suggestion of my doc since I've been having sleeping issues, even more so with the recent events. Took it 15 mins ago and I'm getting a bit dizzy. So I think I should get into bed before I crash..update tomorrow for sure! Even though tomorrow is back to work for real after 2 and a half days off...arg. Plus I have to go cordless phone shopping after work, since the phone my parents want me to pick up for them *has* to be white and have certain features, and no answering machine..arg!!!! Goodnight!
eternalflame4: (Default)
I wish I had more to report but I really don't! Not much has happened in the last couple weeks, other than my job changing from Textbook Manager to Store Operations Supervisor, which I have no problem with. Technically a Text Manager has to have a degree, which I am lacking right now. I did apply to the college I'm working at, Bristol Community College, for their Retail Management program, and my company Follett will pay for it, since its job related. Just have to get my HS transcript sent to them. Not really looking forward to my 21st birthday, I'm not that thrilled with being able to go out and order a drink, but I guess it will be nice. Anyway thats it to report, whats going on with everyone out there?
eternalflame4: (Make a Wish)
I noticed that someone actually made a post in a community that I'm in wondering if I was ok, so I figured it was high-time to update about me. I've been around, I read everyday, I've kept up on everything, I've just been lurking in the shadows.

Honestly, nothing exciting has happened to be over here in Mass. I've changed majors yet again, I'm going for Medical Administration/Coding, while I'm back on the waiting list for my Nursing program. I managed to talk my college into giving me another shot at my major, except I ended back on the waiting list, the mile-long waiting list. Of course I haven't heard anything yet this summer, so I had to pick a major because I have to be enrolled as a full time student to keep my heath insurance through my mom. It is 3 night classes a week, 12 credits first semester, 14 the second, and I'll graduate next year.

As far as work goes, I've had my hours cut back to only 32 a week, since our company got in trouble for its employees working over 40 hrs a week without benefits. That sucks because I used to work like 50 hours a week, no questions asked. Because of the hours cut-back I'm having a hard time coming up with the money for school, I need to come up with $1000 by Aug 1st, and I actually wrote a letter today to my father in Australia asking him to send me $$. He owes me somewhere around $80,000 in child support, and he has to pay till I'm 23, so he's still racking it up as we speak. He hasn't paid since I was 14, and when we went after him when I was 16, he didn't show up for his court date, so there isn't anything they can do, they can't physically drag him back from Australia and make him pay, so I'm begging him for help with college.

And the dating scene...well, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince..and I had Jeff again for awhile, but he broke up with me in April. Its too bad too, because I worked so hard on the relationship the second time around, making sure that it was different hoping that it would work..but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I had hoped that we could have been friends, but he didn't want that either, and I have to respect his wishes, because I do respect him still, and deep down I think I will always care, because I care about everyone, even if they don't care about me.

Mix in this school money crisis with an already kind of sad Cindy and you get a really confused adult.

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